Friday, December 19, 2014

Are Children A Blessing Or A Nuisance

My husband and I were enjoying dinner at a restaurant one evening while our six-week-old daughter slept in her carrier. I noticed two elderly ladies seated at the table next to ours were admiring her. One spoke up. “Enjoy every stage of her childhood,” she began, and I waited for the usual “because they grow up so fast,” like so many others had said to me since her birth. Instead, the woman went on, “because each stage is worse than the one before it.”

I wasn’t sure how to respond. What a negative thing to say to new parents!
I wish I could say that was the first and last time someone has been so disagreeable when advising me about parenthood, but it wasn’t. In fact, from the moment I announced to coworkers that I was pregnant, I’ve heard one disparaging thing about children and motherhood after another. Almost everywhere I go, I notice that children are seen as a nuisance. We live in a society that sees having more than two children as a financial and emotional drain. Abortion on demand is viewed as a necessity. Even our president has said that he wouldn’t want his daughters “punished with a baby” if they became pregnant before they were ready. Our culture’s mentality that children are a burden is evident.
As moms, I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. When you take your kids to the grocery store, how often do you hear, “Wow, you have your hands full!” or, “Just wait until they’re teenagers!”?
I’m ashamed to say that I used to laugh and go along with this kind of talk. I’d agree with a chuckle. But lately, I’ve been reconsidering this approach.
After all, don’t the Scriptures speak of children as a blessing and a treasure? You’re probably familiar with Psalm 127:3: “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.”
And didn’t Jesus welcome the children? “Now they were bringing even infants to him that he might touch them. And when the disciples saw it, they rebuked them. But Jesus called them to him, saying, ‘Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God.’” (Luke 18:15-16).
God created us in His image, and He has designed childhood as part of His perfect plan for humanity. When He came to die for us, He came as a child. Clearly, He prizes children. And if God values them so much, shouldn’t we?
Now, I’m not saying that it’s never okay to admit that we’re having a rough day, or that we’re struggling with our role as moms. We should not try to portray our children as perfect, because they aren’t. However, we can choose to be honest while also valuing our children with our speech.
Living as Christian moms means being radically different than the culture around us, and the way we speak about our children should be no exception. As mothers who want to honor Christ, we should talk about our children the way God’s Word talks about them: as precious gifts who bear His image.
I have heard similar comments so often, too often.  Things like, "I can't stand the ones I have, I don't see how you do it with so many!"  It is so easy, at least for me, to take a defensive stand against others and their words,  but I like how Aubrie takes the offensive approach...looking at it through God's eyes makes all the difference.

Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord; and the fruit of the womb is his reward.  Psalm 127:3

You are in the very center of His will as you embrace His little ones to your heart and raise them to be mighty arrows for God's kingdom.   Be encouraged. And may you be filled with the joy of the Lord as you fulfill this mighty task in your home today.
Nancy Campbell

Women sigh for fame. They would be sculptors, and chisel out of the cold stone forms for beauty to fill the world with admiration of thier skill. Or they would be poets, to write songs to thrill a nation and to be sung around the world. But is any work in marble so great as her who has an immortal life laid in her hands to shape for its destiny?
J.R. Miller

A true mother is one of the holiest secrets of home happiness. God sends many beautiful things to this world, many noble gifts, but no blessing is richer than that which He bestows in a mother who has learned love's lessons well, and has realized something of the meaning of her sacred calling.
J.R. Miller

I hope these thoughts and quotes give you some encouragement for you day.  I have no doubt that if you are a mom, you have heard discouraging comments, how do you respond to the naysayers?  Please leave me a comment and tell me your story.


  1. Oh my, what horrible "advice" you received from the lady! Thank you for writing such a beautiful reminder of how to see children. They really are wonderful blessings.

  2. I can relate to this 100%. I am pregnant with my sixth child and I hear the you have your hands full all the time but honestly I smile and say yes I do. Because honestly I do and I need Yahweh's guidance and help to train them up and grow to be the parent he wants me to be.
    The funny thing is this older lady at the grocery store told me she had eleven kids and I told her that I am pregnant with my sixth and she said God bless you, you will need it when they are teenagers. I kind of chuckled I have one teen whom is a good kid and so I thought on it later and I am thinking why do people think that kids suddenly behave terrible when they are teens? I think it has a lot to do with how they are raised. I only have one teen now, like I said but if you strive to live in Yah's will as a parent and train your children up in the way they will go, I don't think you are going to get terrible, awful teens. Sure, they may have some troubles as they grow and mature but why does everyone think that when your kids are teens they will suddenly be rotten. Like I said, only if you are ignoring teaching them as children and they are disobedient and deviant now and you ignore teaching them along the way. We will all make mistakes as parents but if we strive to set them on the straight and narrow as we go, I think we will have a better time along the way. At least it is the conclusion I have come to so far......

    1. And also show them unconditional love along the way I think this is also one of the best things you can do. Always tell them that you love them and what you love about them.

    2. Yes, AmberRay, I agree with you. I think that sometimes children hit the bar we set for them...if we go into the teen years for example, with a bad attitude expecting trouble and rebellion then that's what we often get. If we can keep in mind that we are imperfect parents, raising imperfect children living in an imperfect world. As parents we strive to do our best and then give it to God. :) Thank you so much for stopping by, and I hope to talk to you again!

  3. Great reminder for mothers! Thank you for sharing the beauty of child-raising on the Art of Home-Making Mondays :)

  4. I have 11 children. When I had "only 7", a bitter, elderly lady in the doctor's office told me she regretted giving birth to her 5 children and if she had it to do over, she would not have had children at all. It kind of scared me. But because of that (and other harsh comments through the years), I've purposed to encourage mamas I see when I'm out. Sometimes you can see a change in their countenance with just a word of encouragement.

    1. Wow! It always amazes me how people are willing to verbalize what they are thinking. What an unfortunate experience for you. I am thrilled to see that you didn't absorb this woman's bitterness, and that you have turned the evil for good :) Thanks for stopping by!!